An Intimate Cry

cry_hollieAre you the type of person who would prefer to be happy all of the time?  Smile at strangers?  Love to make people feel welcomed, accepted and loved?  Well, join the team. I want everyone I meet to feel special, and I believe, for the most part, they do.  Yeah Team Happy!

Sometimes, even though I fight it as if I am drowning, I experience sadness.  The more I fight it, the more emotional I get.  It’s as if I’m splashing in water trying to get to the side in order to grab the wall or the railing for the stairs and I can’t seem to make it.  The more I splash and panic the more my head goes under the water.  Emotions are fluid, like water and we all know fighting water it is exhausting.

I have learned that it is important to embrace those emotional moments or you will drown in sadness and despair.  Trust me; these moments can be temporary.  You become your most vulnerable and intimate when you surrender to your feelings.  It offers the opportunity for you to have an honest conversation with yourself.

On my way to work one morning, at a red light, I took a deep breath and burst into tears. I was struggling to keep it together all morning. I was tense.  My neck hurt.  My frown gave me a headache.  I had no choice, but to release.  It was very apparent from the guttural sobs that I heard coming out of me that I must have been fighting this well needed cry.   Once my meltdown subsided, I spoke out loud, “I wish I had a dad.  I wish I had a sober mama.  I wish my sisters understood me and would be my friend.  I am lonely.”  After that very honest outburst I inhaled and the air smelled so fresh, my vision was clearer, my neck did not hurt anymore and I felt happy again.  Just like that.

The conversation was not over though.  I needed to ask myself if my statements were true.  I concluded that for the most part, they were true.  However, they did not need to be justified to move beyond the thoughts that did not serve a purpose except to leave me in a distressed, uncomfortable mood.

I’m on Team Happy for goodness sake!  Who has time for all of that sadness?  Imagine if I fought that urge to cry for the whole day? I was already in pain, my neck and head.  It would have affected my productivity, my health, my interaction with other people.  It just would have been an all-out horrible, no good, very bad day.

The truth of the matter is…my daddy abandoned us.   My mama prefers to self-medicate and my sisters, well, they never understood my desire for knowledge.  It is what it is.  Cry, embrace, expel, smile and keep it moving.

An early morning tearful purge of negative emotions, at a red light, in my car, alone has been the most intimate moment for me in a very long time.  Not even with a partner have I had that kind of connection in a while (no comment; that’s another blog conversation).  Life will not always be a “happy, happy, joy, joy” animation.  Don’t fight water and risk drowning.  Be calm, be confident, be courageous and swim to the edge.  You will be surprised at how intimate it will feel.

Love Sensually, Safely and Spiritually.

About Hollie Sweat

Hollie Sweat is an intimacy consultant, sexual explorer, speaker and writer. She is dedicated to inspiring women to take control of their sensual life by loving themselves unconditionally and letting go of fruitless notions about a woman’s role in the bedroom. Intimacy begins way before you enter the bedroom. In order to reap the benefits of true intimacy women should be open to the possibility of pure ecstasy. Hollie assists women in understanding their bodies’ signals, embracing their inner goddess and living in the moment. She promotes sensual health, movement with or without a partner. The use of props is never a bad thing and intimacy products are her specialty. She believes everyone should love sensually, safely and spiritually. Feel free to visit her website for more information about her services and products

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